For a sitcom that went off the air before some UGA freshmen were born, “Seinfeld” remains an essential part of American culture. It was maybe the last gasp of the monoculture before the Internet shattered it—a show you had to watch if for no other reason than everyone else would be talking about it the next day. (At its peak, “Seinfeld” had more than 30 million viewers; compare that to, say, “Parks and Recreation,” which for most of its run had less than five.)
Eighteen years after the final episode, with star Jerry Seinfeld’s popular web series “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee,” Larry David’s spot-on Bernie Sanders impression, stonewashed jeans coming back in style and so much of our political discourse revolving around rehashing the Clinton Administration, “Seinfeld” has gained new relevance. It never really went away, though—close talking, double-dipping, re-gifting and man hands remain part of our lexicon. As the Buzzfeed-ification of Flagpole continues apace, here are 12 of “Seinfeld”’s best quotes. You’ll probably recognize them, even if you’ve never seen the show.
12. “Maybe the dingo ate your baby.”
Season 3, episode 10, “The Stranded”
This is a reference to the 1988 Meryl Streep movie A Cry in the Dark, based on a true story about an Australian woman who was accused of murdering her child but claimed a wild dog ran off with it. You absolutely do not have to know this to find Elaine’s line hilarious.
11. “Serenity now!”
Season 9, episode 3, “The Serenity Now”
Insanity later.
10. “Spongeworthy”
Season 7, episode 9, “The Sponge”
This isn’t a joke you could do today. “IUD worthy” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
9. “I’m not the one going to hell.”
Season 9, Episode 16, “The Burning”
Puddy—Elaine’s deadpan, Christian rock-listening, facepaint-wearing boyfriend—is the best.
8. “Ya gotta see the baby!”
Season 5, episode 21, “The Hamptons”
Breathtaking.
7. “A Festivus for the rest of us”/“feats of strength”/“airing of grievances”
Season 9, episode 6, “The Strike”
I will vote for whichever candidate promises to make Festivus a real holiday.
6. “Yada, yada, yada”
Season 8, episode 19, “The Yada Yada”
Also, “anti-dentite.”
5. “No soup for you!”
Season 7, episode 6, “The Soup Nazi”
The diner, calzones, Junior Mints, big salads, muffin tops—so much of “Seinfeld” revolves around food. (George getting busted making change out of a tip jar. Kramer drying his clothes in a pizza oven. Kramer tossing a salad in the shower. The neon light from a Kenny Rogers Roasters keeping Kramer up at night. Newman being tempted to eat a buttered-up Kramer. Kramer going on strike at the bagel shop. Jerry mugging an old lady for a loaf of bread.) Granted, the Soup Nazi—an angry Middle Eastern man—is one of the show’s more… problematic characters (along with the Puerto Ricans in Season 9 and this episode’s lisping “street toughs” who steal the armoire—not to mention the cast’s lack of diversity). It’s still funny. NO SOUP FOR YOU. COME BACK ONE YEAR. NEXT
4. “Shrinkage”
Season 5, episode 21, “The Hamptons”
“I was in the pool! I was in the pool!” This might be the best “Seinfeld” episode of all time (see No. 8).
3. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
Season 4, episode 16, “The Outing”
While “Seinfeld” was never overtly political, the writers’ secular liberal views—what Ted Cruz would call “New York values”—often shone through. This episode—in which Jerry tries to convince a reporter he’s straight while George pretends he and Jerry are a couple as an excuse to break up with his girlfriend—skewers both the right’s homophobia and the left’s political correctness in the ‘90s culture wars. For the era of “don’t ask, don’t tell” and the Defense of Marriage Act, it was a fairly progressive and even risky stance, especially for the conservative medium of network television.
2. “These pretzels are making me thirsty!”
Season 3, episode 11, “The Alternate Side”
To this day I can’t eat pretzels without saying this. It’s like a compulsion. I really ought to talk to somebody.
1. “Master of my domain”
Season 4, episode 11, “The Contest”
Queen of the castle. King of the county. Lord of the manor. Emperor of not masturbating.
“Seinfeld” reruns are syndicated on TBS, available on Charter On Demand and stream on Hulu.
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