originally published May 14, 2008

10,000 B.C.

(PG-13) 10,000 B.C. isn’t epic enough to overcome its grievous historical inaccuracies. The greatest flaw of 10,000 B.C. may be in its geography. I could suspend my disbelief to allow for the general abuse of time, but the lack of any geographical cohesion troubled me to no end. Without an engaging story or characters to cling to, 10,000 B.C. left me with far too much time to struggle to make a whole out of the ill-fitting pieces of this shattered lost world.

BABY MAMA

(PG-13) Former “SNL” Weekend Update anchors Tina Fey and Amy Poehler have reteamed for a seriously funny movie about infertility and surrogacy, not exactly two subjects naturally associated with yuks. Baby Mama is not simply an “SNL” sketch stretched beyond its limits. The rest of the supporting cast executes their roles properly as well. As the token love interest, Greg Kinnear pretty much makes cute and stays out of the way. But this baby belongs to the mamas, Fey and Poehler, not the daddies, finally putting to rest the sexist assumption that men are funnier than women.

BE KIND REWIND

(PG-13) I want to swede (that’s what Jack Black’s Jerry and Mos Def’s Mike call the process during which they “charmingly” and ineptly reshoot popular movies using only themselves, their friends, and their own no budget ingenuity) this sweet paean to all things unhomogenized. Be Kind Rewind may be creative, but it’s also cloying and presumptive.

THE BUCKET LIST

(PG-13) If not for the magnetic allure of Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, director Rob Reiner might finally have tumbled to the bottom of moviemaking’s own pit of despair. Hampered by its schmaltzy script, The Bucket List is a road movie for the terminally ill.

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE OF CASPIAN

(PG) I liked The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, but I’m not ready to crown Prince Caspian the King of May 2008. Director Andrew Adamson and almost the entire cast and crew are returning to Narnia along with the four Pevensie children - Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy - to help Prince Caspian (Ben Barnes) wrest control of his native land from villainous King Miraz (Sergio Castellitto).

CONSIDERING DEMOCRACY

(NR) Considering Democracy: 8 Things to Ask Your Representative queries people from around the world about their perspective on these here United States. Filmmaker Keya Lea Horiuchi compares the U.S. to other first world countries in the categories of Work and Leisure, Healthcare, Media, Foreign Policy, etc. Winner of the John Michaels Award from the Big Muddy Film Festival, the final version of Considering Democracy also screened at the Beloit International Film Festival. Filmmaker Keya Lea Horiuchi will be in attendance for a Q&A discussion following the film.

DRILLBIT TAYLOR

(PG-13) Go into Drillbit Taylor realizing that it’s Superbad for the preteens whose parents wouldn’t let them see Superbad (and probably won’t let them see this movie due to its kinship with last year’s surprise smash hit), and one shouldn’t be disappointed.

FLAWLESS

(PG-13) Another mod heist flick released this close to The Bank Job, Flawless stars Demi Moore as Laura Quinn, an executive frustrated by the glass ceiling she keeps bumping her head on. Sensing an easy mark, knowledgeable veteran janitor Hobbs (Michael Caine) convinces Laura to help rob their employer, the London Diamond Corporation. The only flawless diamond in this film is Caine, yet not even he is brilliant enough to brighten this drab crime drama.

FOOL'S GOLD

(PG-13) Fool’s Gold is as lazy and dumb as its cartoonish main character, treasure salvager Finn (Matthew McConaughey). A dud in every way.

FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL

(R) Since January, 2008’s best films have all been holdovers from 2007, allowing the juvenilely mature, bust-a-gut hilarious Forgetting Sarah Marshall to waltz right into that vacant top spot. Peter Bretter has just had his heart broken by his TV star girlfriend, Sarah Marshall. Now Peter must get over Sarah, with her and Aldous constantly humping in his face, with the help of his new friends. Nothing special can be said about Nicholas Stoller’s direction, but the cast and Segel’s script, balancing lowbrow sex gags with a heartfelt tale of heartbreak and woe, are darn near perfect. I haven’t laughed so hard with a theater full of strangers since Superbad.

HAROLD & KUMAR ESCAPE FROM GUANTANAMO BAY

(R) Due to more selfish stupidity on Kumar’s part (smoking pot on an airplane), the duo end up in Guantanamo from which they promptly escape. Back in the U.S., Harold and Kumar have several politically incorrect and devastatingly unfunny encounters with denizens of the South (African Americans, inbred rednecks, the Klan) and Neil Patrick Harris as “Neil Patrick Harris” while on their way to crash the wedding of Kumar’s ex-girlfriend (Danneel Harris, “One Tree Hill”) and her presidentially connected fiancé. Writing/directing team Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg tackle bigger issues (governmental subversion of the rule of law) than getting to White Castle in this sequel, but the “South Park”-ian task of mixing juvenile humor and politically astute commentary is beyond their meager talent for devising amusing, marijuana-driven scenarios.

HORTON HEARS A WHO!

(G) The 1954 children’s classic about Horton the Elephant (v. Jim Carrey), whose giant ears allow him to communicate with the tiny speck that is the town of Whoville is one of the good doctor’s most beloved tales, right behind Green Eggs and Ham. The laughs in Horton are never cheap or juvenile, yet they are perfectly pitched for little ones’ ears.

IRON MAN

(PG-13) When Stan Lee created billionaire industrialist/playboy Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) in 1963, the comic book legend could not have imagined how relevant he would remain in 2008. One of Marvel’s greatest heroes, Iron Man lacks the celebrity quotient of Spider-Man, and Iron Man director Jon Favreau (Elf) takes shrewd advantage of that relative anonymity. Downey makes the most of a screenplay that never takes itself too seriously without ever making its metal-clad superhero a joke. Comic book movies, like the heroes they portray, depend as heavily on their sidekicks as they do their adversary. As Stark’s assistant Pepper Potts, Gwyneth Paltrow reemerges from the charmless shell of her last half dozen or so performances, Terrence Howard’s Jim Rhodes, a future superhero himself, is a swell associate. Iron Man opens the summer season with the ideal bang of effects, brawn and brains.

JELLYSCREAM!

(NR) Here’s the synopsis I dug up from YouTube: “A small, rural state park is being terrorized by a mutant, man-eating, bipedal, humanoid jellyfish... and it’s up to a rag-tad [sic] team of local law enforcement officials and a marine biologist to stop it before it reproduces and replaces humans as the dominant species on Earth.” Judging from the trailer, this low-rent homage to the B-movies of the 1950s, directed by Clint Orr, has some charms in its somewhat ploddingly paced, three-minute trailer. But how long can that cheesy euphoria be sustained?

THE KING OF KONG: A FISTFUL OF QUARTERS

(PG-13) 2007. My friend, a videogame nut and no cinematic slouch, declared this movie “the greatest documentary ever.” She may have been overzealous in her critique, but The King of Kong was a serious blast. Watch as 35-year-old Steve Wiebe assaults “Gamer of the Century” Billy Mitchell’s high score on the classic arcade title, Donkey Kong, in a cross-country duel for inclusion in the Guinness Book of World Records. By the end of this eight-bit Rocky, you’ll have taken a side - and I doubt it’ll be that of the wonderfully coiffed Mitchell and his sketchy scores. The fun and acclaimed King of Kong is a rare treat. Part of the ACC Library’s iFilms series.

LEATHERHEADS

(PG-13) George Clooney’s latest film is like an ugly throwback jersey whose days gone by appeal makes one briefly forget how unfashionable it is right now. Director Clooney momentarily creates a zany Capra-Hawks-Sturges atmosphere; he just doesn’t sustain it. Like 2003’s Down with Love (which also starred Zellweger), Leatherheads is more enamored with its conceit than its conceit is enamoring.

MADE OF HONOR

(PG-13) Patrick Dempsey is Tom, a serial dater who decides his best friend, Hannah (Michelle Monaghan), is his soulmate. Too bad she’s now engaged to a Scotsman (Kevin McKidd from “Journeyman”), and Tom is the Maid of Honor. Now Tom must stop the wedding from the inside if he wants Hannah for himself. I think this entertaining romcom looks like the perfect vehicle to launch the former teen idol from television heartthrob to big-time movie star.

MY BLUEBERRY NIGHTS

(NR) In Hong Kong director Wong Kar-wai's first English-language film, Elizabeth (Norah Jones) travels across the U.S. to recover from a break-up. Along the way, she encounters and befriends various characters (including those played by Jude Law, David Strathairn, Natalie Portman and Rachel Weisz) in a world of "shimmering neon and lush chiaroscuro."

NIM'S ISLAND

(PG) Nim’s Island is a serviceable family friendly adventure film. Imaginative Nim (Abigail Breslin) lives on an isolated island in the South Pacific with her dad (Gerard Butler) and concocts adventures mirroring those of her favorite fictional hero, the world’s greatest adventurer Alex Rover.

THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL

(PG-13) The Other Boleyn Girl watches like a TV network’s World Premiere Movie Event, yet Showtime’s “The Tudors” easily out-acts, out-sexes and outclasses this boring bodice-ripper based on Philippa Gregory’s bestseller.

PARANOID PARK

(R) Good Will Hunting's Gus Van Sant is back in independent form with this adaptation of Blake Nelson’s young adult novel. A skateboarder who frequents Portland’s Paranoid Park, Alex (newcomer Gabe Nevins) is implicated in the death of a security guard. Van Sant is hit or miss; many consider his last feature, Last Days, a miss. (Before that, the filmmaker hit with Elephant.) The critical word on Paranoid Park predicts hit. Van Sant picked up the Cannes Film Festival’s 60th Anniversary Prize and producer Neil Kopp snagged an Independent Spirit Award for this film.

PROM NIGHT

(PG-13) Sharing little more than a title, a setting, and some dead teens with Jamie Lee Curtis’s popular 1980 slasher flick, the new Prom Night is as dreadful as the worst of the four proms I attended.

REDBELT

(R) A Shakespearian, whistleblowing Rocky, Redbelt compels where your typical B-grade martial arts flicks don’t, thanks to the top-notch talent of David Mamet, who continues his solid, discreet directing career, and Chiwetel Ejiofor, the greatest actor working today whose name no one knows. Ejiofor’s humanist portrayal of honor-bound Mike Terry, a mixed-martial arts instructor who befriends the wrong people - movie stars, corrupt fight promoters - to save his financially struggling academy and his desperate wife (Alice Braga), would be award bait were this not a genre flick. While Mamet piles up plot contrivances like a multi-car freeway accident en route to the big showdown, Redbelt never loosens its dramatic chokehold. This flick isn’t just for UFC fans (I’m not one); you don’t even have to love Mamet (though I do). Redbelt, an intelligent, action-packed martial arts flick, is a rare prize indeed.

SHUTTER

(PG-13) This slice of pitiful PG-13 horror pie tasted just fine to its target audience. The 13 (and unders) in the theater were scared out of their minds by this predictable A-horror remake; however, Shutter caused me to barely shudder.

SNOW ANGELS

(R) See Movie Pick.

SPEED RACER

(PG) Speed Racer, the first film written and directed by the incredibly talented Wachowski Brothers since The Matrix trilogy ended, needed to pick an audience, or better yet, appeal to a broader one. This big-screen update of the '60s cult cartoon has been positioning itself as the summer’s first family film, but it’s doubtful anyone but the little brother obsessed with Matchbox cars and poo-tossing monkeys will enjoy it. The eye-gasm of candy-colored, Tron-inspired racing environments are blistering original, but I wasn’t sure what I was watching half of the time. Off the track, the Wachowskis brake their seemingly game actors with too earnest, weirdly serious dialogue about the art of racing. The mix of low octane plot movement and high octane racing never clicks. No, Speed Racer, no.

THE SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES

(PG) The Spiderwick Chronicles is based on a series of bestselling books by Terry DiTerlizzi and Holly Black about the Grace siblings, twins Jared and Simon (Freddie Highmore) and sister Mallory (Sarah Bolger), who discover a fantastical world existing unseen within our own after they move into the creepy old house that belonged to their great granduncle, Arthur Spiderwick (David Strathairn).

STREET KINGS

(R) A picture of detective Tom Ludlow (Keanu Reeves) can be found in the screenwriter’s guide next to the entry for “dirty cop who is relatively cleaner than his dirtiest colleague.” Ludlow sleeps in his clothes, drinks on the job, talks racist trash to suspects, and is an all-around not nice guy. On the streets of writer James Ellroy’s L.A., that makes him a moral beacon shining atop city hall. Street Kings isn’t as morally complex as it pretends to be, and it won’t set the box office on fire. Still, the pulpy, hard-boiled crime film is arresting for the two hours before the credits bail you out.

UNDER THE SAME MOON

(PG-13) Under the Same Moon, the film that broke the box office record for biggest opening weekend for a Spanish language film in the U.S., breaks down the controversy over illegal immigration into a simplistic fairy tale. All nine-year-old Carlitos (Adrian Alonso) wants is to come to the U.S. to join his mother Rosario (the gorgeous Kate del Castillo); all Rosario can dream about is being reunited with her son. Once in the U.S., Carlitos is saved from one bad decision after another by well-meaning fellow immigrants. Writer Ligiah Villalobos’s scenarios are manipulative, contrived, and sappy, but Under the Same Moon emerges from that suffocating melodramatic plastic thanks to the incredibly charming Alonso, who puts a beatific face upon the millions of anonymous illegal immigrants presently living in the U.S.

WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS

(PG-13) While What Happens in Vegas may not smell fresh, the high-concept romcom starring Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz doesn’t stink like the reanimated corpses that have been shuffling through the multiplex this past winter and spring. How funny you find Vegas will depend greatly on how well you tolerate selfishness in others and how entertaining/cute you find the two mismatched stars. Kutcher spends much of the film being nauseatingly obnoxious (and this after he’d started to grow on me). Diaz shows little of her own comic spark. Corddry supplies a few insufficient, idiotic laughs. Like the ads say, What Happens in Vegas should stay in Vegas.

Drew Wheeler